Today I want to write to you all as well as to myself. I need this reminder as much or more than the next person. I forget too often. Life appears to start spinning out of control, and instead of calling out to God, I let depression get the best of me. I fall into a deep dark pit of despair, and I stay there until I find a good enough reason to crawl back out. Unfortunately, with this kind of behavior one day I won't find the strength to get out. There is only one way to ensure my safe return to the light of a new day. Of course, if I asked God's help, I probably wouldn't find myself in the dark in the first place. I mean, no matter what, we'll all feel helpless at some point. It's inevitable. But that doesn't mean we don't have hope!! We can lighten our loads. Sometimes we're just too stubborn. So today, tomorrow, and every day after that, let's work on this!
For about a year and a half I've carried an enormous weight. From time to time, God gives me moments of such happiness that my burden seems to have disappeared! But it's always come back. I believe there needs to be some huge change in my life before this pain leaves entirely. And so, I carry on. Through all of the nightmares, waking up crying, terrible thoughts that fill my head, and day to day tasks that remind me of my sorrow, I somehow carry on. Let it be known that my pain is not comparable to many others' pain. It's entirely different. I don't claim to have the worst life or the greatest reason for occasional depression. I only mean to explain why prayer is so necessary for me right now. But when this sadness leaves, there will be a million other reasons for prayer. There will always be another reason for me to pray. And there will always be another reason for you to pray. It makes no difference if you're not certain how to present your requests to the Lord. We have an intercessor to help!!
"Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered."
~ Romans 8:26
Don't be afraid to start a thought and let the Spirit help you finish! God is more than aware of our imperfection and our inability to express everything we feel. I often forget this and end up skipping a prayer because I don't know how to explain how I feel to God. It can be intimidating going before the Almighty King not knowing what words to use. But that's not what God wants. He loves it when we need His help!
I sometimes go for long periods of time without having a one on one with God. I won't pretend to be some saint that never fails to pour out their heart to the Lord. I fail all the time. I pass up opportunities to grow closer to my Lord on a daily basis. That doesn't mean I should stop trying, though! It only means I should try harder!! We can even pray for help remembering to spend time with our King. God will never leave us without help. He'll never say no to that request.
"And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you."
~ Luke 11:9
If there's a specific practice that helps you with prayer, by all means, use it!! Whether it's playing quiet hymns while praying (I enjoy listening to Nearer: A New Collection of Favorite Hymns), writing your prayer requests down on paper, using a study guide (I really love Shereadstruth.com), etc., use what you know helps! Maybe you should even try a new way if you need to get re-inspired. I encourage you to do whatever you can to "Pray without ceasing" (1 Thessalonians 5:17)!
Dear Heavenly Father,
Please help me to run to You not only when I feel like I need You, but also when in my human ignorance, I foolishly think I don't need Your guidance. I always do and I always will. Thank You for never giving up on me!Thank You for Your love and mercy! It's far more than I deserve! Please help me to remember to show my love for You by setting aside time every day to spend time with You and grow closer to You.
In Jesus' Name I Pray,
Amen
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